Hepler’s Mold takes over a car-

Ever leave a window open and get snow in your car? Well, in the tropics they have another problem: Hepler’s mold. The bright fungus naturally eats away at trees but naugahyde (the fake leather in most cars) contains ten times more cumulus oophorus cells than the tree bark from which its made.

And here’s the result. The bright fungus has completely consumed the car’s interior. It may look soft and cushy but you’d find no place in the world less comfortable, as the mold can also grow in human lungs. The spores from this car would kill a passenger within ten minutes. The bright fibers of victims erupt from their mouths in a gruesome spectacle that the natives of these regions call “Elmo’s Death”.

Hummerous,,

TELL ME IM WRONG

You are 100% wrong. Do you really think that the Onecler would accept Lorax to be unshaved? Onecler’s cock is a demanding mistress and won’t accept anything that’s less smooth than a veal cutlet, so lorax shaves twice per day to satisfy Onecler’s needs and get Onecler’s seeds.

the hair is growing from the inside. you really expect him to shave twice a day?

is he getting in there with a fuckin vacuum cleaner? does the Mayor of Whoville come over every morning to wage war on his luscious fibers? you really think The Guardian of The Trees is sitting in his bathtub, whole lussy out, tryna pick one tasty orange tendril out at a time with a fuckin tweezer?

No.

The onceler went where no man could, before or since.

He entered that jungle a boy, and left a man: conquered by a savage wilderness he dare not control.

What the fuck are the both of you on??

Hubris.

Hummi the more I see you say things the less I feel emotions other than complete void

I think the worst part is Hammerpants thought of Lorax coochie but i thought of Pennywise bussy

There are two kinds of people in this world,

Y'all are saying the wrong things. The onceler is simply incapable of having a dick

i think the worst part is this implies that onceler gets pegged by the lorax

is that really surprising

no, im just mad he’s hogging all that

Wow I hadn’t seen this post since 2019 and still though MY addition was weird. Long live the new flesh…

hey uh what exactly is possessing you people to reblog a nearly 10 year old shrek meme that I made in high school

Your hard work isn’t going unnoticed